Friday, December 22, 2006

Stocking..

Am inspired by article in paper to make Wish List. Apparently, some secret Santa type individual, (who will first have to read my extremely subtle blog) will do needful.

* I wish wish wish for miracle project that will not be pretentious, downright business like or inane and will instead be mind numbingly perfect and hencefoth change my life.

* Make that two.

* Magical potion that fights flexible Indian hips and will allow me to eat absolutely anything. This wish to also be merged with being stuck in Hershey factory for very long.

* Three months in lonely English mansion holed up with a certain author, and writing his memoirs. It must be raining outside and we must not ever need to go out for anything. There must be no doorbell either.

* Closetful of pretty flat shoes. Refer to Piggy's post for exact description.

* 5.45 a.m must become bearable. I wish to not start every morning with desire to sleep till 12.

* Anand will magically enjoy Japanese food and proceed to get drunk on Sake.

* I will wake up one morning magically fit and not be reduced to humiliating puffer on track behind runners. I will also attain insane flexibility and show off stretches at the stadium that no one else can do. (Warning that this surpasses the rest where possibility is concerned and must therefore rely entirely on magic.)

* Superstar will call me patient, organized, calm and paragon of virtue. And will bow before my tap-turning-off ways.

* Love will continue to amaze me.

* Superstar will decide to take us to Vienna for all expenses paid trip.

* I will be able to bake extraordinary dessert.

* All paedophiles will rot in collective sewer for rat type people.

* I will have overcome fear of heights before thirtieth birthday.

* Also marriage.

* By some strange inheritance, Cinema Paradiso will turn out to be mine and so will my three favourite bookshops.

* I will still love everyone I do today when I'm ninety and they will too.

* Santa will turn out to be entirely desirable sports personality with red hat and charming smile, whose whole life's mission it is to make me happy.

18 comments:

Blue Floppy Hat said...

Hee hee...am suddenly taken by desire to giggle. Can't do too much about the others, but ballet flats are at least achievable.

This is the funnest post you've ever written.

therapy said...

you, baby, are the only utterly male man i know, who can giggle with elan.

therapy said...

oh no, i mis read piggy for potty.

sorry sorry....:)

Blue Floppy Hat said...

Reverted back to old username...no more confusion now, eh?

Monolith... said...

The post on my blog might explain why I dont come visiting anymore. Or maybe not. Either way, sorry.

the stygian sailor said...

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you look at my blog??"

the stygian sailor said...

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you read my blog?"

The Wannabe Writer said...

This Is V

Well, did we miss anytihg?? Or did that cover the wish list for the intellectual universe??

Merry Christmas Oh Theraputic One

V

vichchoobhai said...

At least, u made a wish list. I am too drunk on xmas eve even to take the pink pencil in my hand and put it to paper.

That leaves me with only one wish. Santa, pl dont bring any more Vodka bottles for me in your bag.

Woman?? said...

Therapy:

This post is as sweet as someone who might choose to make an all-pink website. :)

Try baking that desert with no clothes on. Makes an 'extraordinary' difference.
:)

Rae said...

Ho! HO! Hardy har!! Merry Christmas!! i dunno about the rest of it, but somewhere, long ago, Santa left loadsa potion of writing skill with you!!!

God Bless!

Hari Adivarekar said...

:)
Merry Christmas.

therapy said...

piggy i went and drank too much wine as usual

monolith, my blog is just random. anytime you feel like it, come.

the stygian sailor- what does santa look like? i have a particular weakness for dimpled smiles.

V- bah, xmas is for love joy and lots of alcohol. what are you doing this year?

woman..um....any man in your life is a lucky one i say..

vbhai..... try peach schnapps. merry everything after i promise.

rae and hari...lots of wishes and all that...happy happy holidays...yay.

Woman?? said...

Therapy:

Its a rare man who would appreciate the depth of sensuousness.

(Add that to your wish list???)
:)

the stygian sailor said...

santa is very simple
has a dimples
and a couples of pimples
nothing like what he looks on telly
but litres of beer in his belly ;)

Blue Floppy Hat said...

Peach schnapps shooters, despite the general peachiness, generally leave me feeling like I need a proper stiff one afterwards. They're too much like dessert.

Fuck being drunk and profound, or even sober and profound (horrible thought. I'll officially have turned into an angsty poetry-spouting fuckeress if that ever happens). I'll just settle for drunk and armed with an iPod the day after tomorrow.

At least you drank wine. That is a civilised drink. I'm just going to be a boozy undergrad that night.

Mahima said...

Try Remy Martin VSOP Cognac. Extremely civilised and packs a punch like no other!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...
Schnapps climbed onto Santa's lap, wine don't visit anymore, dimples on beer bellies with no clothes on, boozy fuckeress giggles, new year's drunks with pink pencil and open-mouthed paragon pack a punch of Remy Martin.

And I have Sake.
Warm Sake!